Resolved!
January 1, 2025
Resolved!
It's always fun to make resolutions for the new year, to show ourselves how we will be better people and finally contribute something to humanity that goes beyond whining and complaining. Thus, the iron monger asserts:
I will stop making fun of Republiguns
I will in my thoughts and words treat Donald J. Trump with the respect he deserves
I will learn to speak Russian
I will stop calling Marjorie Taylor Green, Kari Lake, and Lauren Boebert the devil's strumpets
I will not complain about how dull medical waiting rooms are
I will not post any more funky baby names (this one's pretty fragile)
I will try to persuade my mind that I've gotten older (my body already knows this)
I will continue to wonder why resumés are not required of elected officials
I will stop saying we should give Texas back to Mexico (although if Mexico would like to buy it …?)
I will not buy a pair of Trump's gold sneakers
I will treat religious people with kindness, much in the way I would treat someone with Alzheimer's
I will stop staying that Medicare Advantage is a scam right up there with that phone call telling me my grandson is in a Mexican jail
I will try to think better thoughts about convicted felons
I will not raise the question as to how many electoral votes Elon Musk got
I will try to remember when Twitter (X) became a state
I will continue to amuse, annoy, and give hope to the wonderfully loyal readers of Cold Iron
G.K. Wuori ©2025
Photoillustration by the author