01-Jul-2010
Iron Filings – 22
Sometimes when the collective idiocies of the world bubble and churn way too deep within my soul I calm myself by imagining a man foul and raggedy standing atop a cliff and screaming, “What is it with you people? Have you no sense? Have you no decency? Have you all gone totally insane?” The year, let us say – it is not a significant year – is 456 B.C.
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Just Because I Thought You Should Know Department – Here are the top three boys and girls baby names in the U.S. for 2009: Boys – Jacob, Ethan, Michael; Girls – Isabella, Emma, Olivia. I think the prize for imaginative and classy panache clearly goes to the girls on this one.
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Home Decorating Annoyance Department – They are beginning to dot the landscape in increasing numbers. They line sidewalks, encircle houses, and firmly announce their cheesiness by frequently falling over. They, of course, are those silly solar-powered “accent” lights that are all the rage right now. On any given night probably half don’t work because they didn’t get quite enough sun during the day, and those that do work don’t really do anything, least of all do they provide enough light to illuminate a sidewalk or entryway. This is a good annoyance, however, and not one where I think anyone should be killed or tortured because of it. In other words, it’s different from my annoyance with the Talibanic evangelicals.
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Catholics have never been ones to shy away from the bumpersticker, and one that I’ve seen frequently of late is not so much a sticker as it is a magnet and it reads: Catholics Come Home. Really, it’s so arrogant. Your faith ought to be your faith and not your home, no matter how metaphorically the intent. If pressed on the issue most of the Catholics I know, myself included, would say we ran away from home a long time ago and we’re not going back. Anyway, it seems to me the emphasis in that church ought not to be on recruitment so much as it ought to be on bringing a dated and dangerous dogma up into modern times.
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I was struck by the criticism the parents of the sixteen year old girl endured over her failed attempt to sail around the world solo. “Child abuse,” some people said, “irresponsible parenting,” wailed others. I assume the critics would rather have had her at home in the basement playing video games.
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Although I think it’s perfectly all right to get every penny we can out of BP to help clean up the mess they’ve created in the Gulf, we also need to send a bill to the other responsible party along with an easy plan for making payment: a $1 tax on every gallon of gas sold in the U.S.
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Specious (but intriguing) Correlation Department – For the last fifteen years (or so) America has either gotten fatter or at least talked itself into a frenzy about how it seems to have gotten fatter. Interestingly, in that same period of time the country has really lowered the hammer on smoking. It used to be that roughly 30% of the populace was considered overweight, and about 50% were smokers. Today, and rather astoundingly, the obesity figure is close to 50% , while the number of smokers has dropped to about 20%. The conclusion, of course, is that we’d all be healthier if we ate less and smoked more. I said it was specious, but it’s still intriguing.
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I don’t know why, but sometimes I get confused over whether I’m watching Law & Order SVU or Law & Order SUV.
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President Obama is to blame for the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico in about the same way that President Ólafur Grímsson of Iceland is to blame for the Eyjafjallajokull volcano in that country. Obama would receive less blame, too, if more people had trouble pronouncing the Gulf of Mexico.
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Am I the only one in the world who finds the concept of vampires incredibly boring? I mean, I’m no stranger to pop culture. I like Lady Gaga, Kristen Stewart, and Ellen Page. I think “Modern Family” is the successor to Seinfeld, Harry Potter is cool, Ermenogeldo Zegna is spiffy (though not really my style) and I’m right in there with millions of others wondering, Who in the world are the Kardashians? But creatures with no other function in life than to go around giving people bloody hickeys? That’s a yawner.
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An article in our local paper suggested it was unwise to boycott BP gas stations because they are all independently owned and all you’re really hurting are your neighbors and local business people. That may well be true, but the real reason not to boycott BP is simple: If that company goes bankrupt all bets are off in terms of compensating those hurt by the oil disaster. You’d better believe, too, that the shrimpers and oystermen, the motel and restaurant owners, the oil workers, and the hundreds of communities and beaches needing cleanup would be wayyyyy behind the big banks and petroleum moguls getting a piece of the assets.
